Religion Humor

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Bowel Movements

Shit happens.Confucius says, "Shit Happens."If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
  • Shit is, and is not.
  • What is the sound of shit happening?
This shit happened before.This shit is going to happen again.
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
  • Shit happens because you are bad.
  • If shit happens, you deserve it
Let this shit happen to someone else.Why does this shit always happen to us?This shit is good for me.
Christian ScienceSeventh Day AdventistHedonism
Shit is only in your imagination.No shit on Saturdays.There isn't anything like a good shit happening.
MooniesHare KrishnaRastafarianism
Only happy shit happens.Shit happens rama rama.Let's smoke this shit.
DavidiansChurch of ScientologyShinto
Let's shoot and burn our own shit.
  • Of course, GOD created this shit.
  • If shit happens, see "Dianetics" p.157
Chop the shit.
Eastern Russian OrthodoxAgnosticShaolin
Holy shit (no more communism!) Not sure about shit.Destroy bad shits with Kung Fu.
  • What is shit, anyway?
  • Shit doesn't happen, shit IS
What shit?This shit was bound to happen
EpiscopalianMethodistCongregationalist and Unitarian
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with itIt's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with itShit that happens to one person is just as good shit as shit that happens to all other
If shit happens, don't talk about itIf shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again (Amen!)No shit
CreationismSecular HumanismChristian Science
God made all shitShit evolvesWhen shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray
Let us not fight over this shitCome let us reason together about this shitThis shit does not stink
This shit was once foodThat's my shitIt's everybody's shit
Men are shitWe may be shit, but you can't live without us...Let's package this shit
From a distance, this shit looks like a garden Let's bronze this shitSNEPPAH TIHS
This shit is good for meShit happens half of the timeDeal with shit one day at a time
Jehovah's Witnesses
Knock Knock. Shit happens

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