On the Subject of Goals

Disciple:

Master, I am lonely. I do not feel at peace. I feel I lack someone who I can be intimate with. A soulmate if you will.

Master:

Why do you not seek one?

Disciple:

I have, but I guess because of circumstances, I am unable to find a mate. After a while, subconsciously, I feel a big conflict in myself. I need to find an outlet. My heart is empty. My sexual desires are suppressed.

Master:

How do you deal with it?

Disciple:

I guess I turned it inward. I needed a reason to protect my sanity. A way to justify my lonely life. Buddhist monks are celibate. I have chose this path as an excuse for my inability to find a mate. I have chosen to remove my desires of being with the opposite sex because my inner-self was in agony. An agony as a result of being rejected and my inability of finding someone that loves me. I have found a path that accepted my condition and turned it into a sought after value... the Buddhist ideal of refraining from all desires including sex.

Master:

It is your self-esteem you are protecting. Everyone has an internal measuring stick they use to judge their success. These are basically internal goals that need to be met for you to feel confident and content in life. Anyone who turns to Buddhism as an excuse for failure (whatever it may be) is making a big mistake in life. We are all bound to fail in certain circumstances. You are accepting failure as an end-all solution to your problems and you are using the ideal of having no desires (hence no goals) as an excuse to protect your self-esteem.

Master:

Do not come back until you are ready.